music videos - unappreciated
- Abi Withers
- Sep 3, 2019
- 5 min read
I would just like to start by saying I have a long list of things to do, it is 10:06 pm, yes I have school tomorrow, and no this is not on my to do list.
I auditioned for a show choir and I did not make the cut. I made it into the smaller group and decided I was done with this show.
Earlier that day ( the day the results were posted, not the audition day) I heard "Boogie with stu" come on the radio. Immediately I started having ideas of what I would want that music video to look like. After doing some research, I found that there is only one music video that goes with this song. I didn't even make it to the end of the video because I felt very disturbed, but I will post it nonetheless so everyone can understand. It's a middle aged, overweight man, with long hair wearing a tight and revealing onesie dancing to the music.
I decided it was my calling to bring this song to life through film. I took initiative and tore through all my mother's camera supplies to find the charger to our camcorder. I finally ordered one on amazon. Now I have the camcorder (which is now charged) and I have the cord, and I'm left here looking at it, scared of the potential it has and telling the poor beautiful thing to just hold on I have to get through college before I can take on any huge projects.
You know how parents will often say before they have their first child "There will never be a "right" time so we might as well just do it now and have the child? I know that going through labor ( happy labor day by the way haha) and making a music video could not and should not be compared, but you know what I am scared out of my mind to let myself have anything but a merely average life, never pushing myself to have anything more than an 80% in anything.
From this I developed my "living an 80% life" theory (which is still being developed, I'm not about to write up a big essay about it.) I listen to a lot of Ted Talks recently and there was this one where a nice man known as Robert Grant was speaking about fear and how to overcome it. (Later I was talking to my Mom and she was telling me that she had this thought that you can't just get rid of fear, you have to fight through it, and I also agree with that) Robert Grant suggested two things which I wrote down:
1. Gratitude. It is impossible to feel fear when you are feeling gratitude - or something similar to that message. But really think about it. Have you have been sitting there thinking about all the beautiful things in your life while feeling fear and anxiety about the future? I mean it may be possible, I don't know. But I do believe that it is more difficult to feel fear and anxiety when you are deciding to be grateful for what is going right in your life.
2. Be intentional in your actions. Just know what you're doing and why. Know the details, do it well and do it right. I didn't listen to this one as closely, but I agree you're not as fearful when you know exactly what you're doing and why and you're doing it with pride.
I would like to stress that all of this I heard and got from Robert Grant's Ted Talk. I found on YouTube. I didn't create these theories. I also heard the following quote from Robert Grant;
Alexander the Great once said: “Man’s immortality is not living forever. Every moment free from fear makes man immortal. Man’s immortality is not living forever because that desire is born from fear!”
So where I was going with this is implementing it into you're forced (or just my) 80% lifestyle. I know I'm not stupid but I do always only allow myself to ever get 80% on any sort of assignments. I'm always just so close to my dream self but never quite there. When I was 14 or so, I was on a cycling team. My coach and my brother were so far ahead of me. My coach said to my brother "watch this I want to try something". They sped up a little bit so I sped up to stay the same distance away from them. Then they slowed down and I did the same, maintaining the exact same distance between myself and them. This proves my theory that there is a greatness that I see in sight, but I never push myself to be better than just mediocre. If I were to ever go to the Olympics I can guarantee that I'd get the silver not the gold. Being my own therapist, I did a lot of thinking about this. I realized that I do this because I don't want to be seen as a slacker or a failure, but I'm scared that being my best, or even the best would be too large of a sacrifice and I don't even want to try because I don't know if it will be worth it. I wouldn't get enough sleep, it would just kill me and be practically impossible for ME a standard pixie babe, to achieve greatness. Hence, I'm dedicating myself to an A+/100% lifestyle and seeing how it goes. Maybe I'll go back to 80% maybe I won't, I don't know.
When you're doing something grand and passionate, it's like being in a race with yourself. There are times when you have to pace yourself and watch other people be ahead of you. But there is also the times when you have to really fight and sprint to get to that finish line. Looking at the race you're scared that you're going to have to sprint the entire thing and that you'll just fail and die before you even get half way through. But it is a fact that you don't have to be going you're ultimate perfect speed the entire time, it's okay to be an imperfect achiever. So long as you just keep going. Walking breaks are still getting you to the finish line even though it's just walking.
So it turns out that dropping out of Forte has been a real blessing because now I'm realizing all these things I want to do, but I have to deal with college and graduation first.
To end this post I will add a few of my favorite uplifting short videos that give me a mood boost. Current favorite is "Hopeless Wanderer" by Mumford and Sons.
and last but not least my favorite trailer of all time;
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