The fake artist

Photography makes me think. It’s a whole image, a feeling, a moment, a second in time that someone was doing something all over the world and yet you caught that exact moment and with the different lighting and colors you get to keep that moment forever.

Photography scares me for several reasons.

1.Because everyone does it. If you have a phone than you’re a photographer. The definition of a photographer is someone that takes pictures. If you take pictures, no matter on what device, you are in no doubt, a photographer.

2. Because what is the definition of art? Like honestly what is it? We talked about this for an entire day in my World Art History class last year and I do not remember what the conclusion was. I think it was just something that makes you feel something through a variety of physical elements that with one of your five senses you are able to experience. Maybe that’s the definition of art, at least in my messy mind, an experience. When someone says art you think of paintbrushes, canvases, the name Picasso and that stupid over appreciated Mona Lisa with a major lack of eyebrows. I think in today’s more risk taking and diverse society, the definition of art is changing and will change. It bothers me a little bit when my Mother speaks of my siblings as artists because they can paint and draw. But what do I do? If I still danced I would consider that my art. I have painted things I’m proud of and other things I’ve painted turned out looking like a big blob of poop. Words and literature are art. So is music and food. Humans need food, sunlight, oxygen, and water to survive. But we need art to live. We all in one way or another are artists ….. My point was that the pictures you take on your phone are not always art. Sometimes they are, yes I will admit that. But other times it’s just a picture of your friends notes from biology class. It often feels like you need to make a huge investment on a big camera, equipment, software tools, and cargo pants to go hiking into the mountains with your things attached to you in order to get a good shot. But art is in the ordinary if you just choose to see it.

4. Social media - Photography and art you make isn’t always made for your emotional investment and connection to that piece of art. Today, it is often made for people’s praise and validation packed up with a red bow on it especially for you. “Be sure to double tap!” I get that some people genuinely use social media and the internet to make a living. But don’t alienate art.

5. Time. I’m afraid of starting because I’m scared of not finishing. How healthy it is to be an adult. (Abi’s sarcastic comment of the night) It’s not like we don’t have time. We just make it so we don’t have time. I’m not saying that procrastination and confrontation is to be totally blamed on social media and internet addictions, but I do believe it is a big portion of it for not all but many people. I can’t give you the secret ingredient and tell you how to escape it. You already know yourself and what you have to do. My secret is to love yourself enough to actually do it. Remind yourself each and everyday it is the world and your irrational expectations for yourself that make you miserable. It’s a mental and emotional plague that seems impossible to escape.

I feel like Marty McFly is going to show up any minute now and ask: “By Golly Dock! What happened to everyone here?” And my depressed thicc butt will say “We lived happily ever after, and this was it."

I’m just kidding I would NEVER DO THAT.

Last weekend (say weekend in British accent, “END” accented.) I said hello to a man named Anthony with a completely stoic and melancholy voice wearing aviators. It felt good. I made Evan laugh.

Waking up sucks because you feel sick in the morning. You sit there and your eyes hurt, your body can’t decide if it needs to use the bathroom or not and you end up going way too often like an old person with bladder issues. Half of the yummy breakfast food just makes you feel nauseous for some reason. Your eyes are itchy and you got all this dried up goop all around and in your eyes. You want to go on a run, but you know your seasonal morning allergies just can’t handle it.

Naps are similar. Unless your on an airplane while napping and you have the turbulence to rock you to sleep. Those are always the best sort of naps. Then the nice flight-attendant lady hands you your cranberry juice mixed with sprite to wake you up, you land in a completely different place. The bathrooms are SO spacey in airports. Traveling is just my favorite. It’s one of the few times you can truly look absolutely terrible and fantastically adorable at the same time.

When I went to San Francisco there was this lady I met at an Art Gallery. She seemed very kind, healthy confident, willing to express herself. It was in fact HER art gallery. She was able to transform an old hardware store into her cute little studio. She shook our hands and we had the privilege of having a short conversation with her. Turns out she's from New York and was a child Model from a young age. As one would expect, especially learning from Miley Cyrus' major mood change a couple years ago, having so much pressure at an early age can give you a couple issues here and there. She said that art saved her life. I'll admit I forgot about that conversation until now. She's an example of how human beings weren't built to survive on food and water alone ( I think that's a quote that leads to something deeper) but we must use our creativity and talents to bless ourselves and the lives of others. That all is my opinion I haven't studied this scientifically, but I'm sure someone has.

*Meditation and sleeping is up next on the agenda*

Conclusion: Chai teas are cheaper then rebels at dutch. I am still waiting for Tom Holland to come and ask me out.